How to mend a broken heart :(
A niece came up to me last night in the middle of my unpacking-of-boxes session at my new place. I could see she was really sad as she is usually one bubbly and happy chick.
She sat in the corner and didn’t speak for about an hour, just staring at the bare floor. As it was almost supper so I offered her some food. We sat down and I talked non-stop about my place, my scattered boxes and this and that. She looked around the place and apologised to me to say that she didn’t notice so she would offer her hand after supper.
I thanked her for her thoughts but I know she would like to say something but couldn’t utter a word. As I continued with my work, she suddenly broke down and cried. She was sobbing uncontrollably and I have to calm her down.
I knew she has problem and it’s about her boyfriend, now ex-. It’s her first love and she thought that their relationship would last forever. She kept on asking why. I was afraid she would say, why her.
After letting her cry her eyes out, I gave her a hug and asked her to sit on the chair. She was calm then and started to tell me what happen. In a nutshell, it’s over between them.
I told her it’s no use thinking what went wrong and who is to blame as the fact now is that man don’t want anything to do with her anymore. Yes that was cruel to say but someone has to say that straight to her face. She was stuck and dumbfounded.
She went back to her hysterical cries and I let her did that for the next couple of hours. It was mid-night when she came to her senses. She agreed with what I said and she said its time to move on. I thought she meant she wanted to go home but she shook her head and said she would try to forget all the memories and continued with her life. Smart baby though that’s really quick. Aight!
I told her that would be easier said than done because the pain would still be there even after so many years. To make her feel better, I taught her a prayer when we encounter a problem, no matter how big it is: Innalillahi wan inna lillahi raji’un. Ya Allah Engkau berilah kami pahala dalam musibah kami dan Engkau berilah kami pengganti yang lebih baik. [From God we come and to God we return. Oh Lord, please rewards us with our problem and give us a better replacement]
I also told her she would continue to see the man everywhere but her feelings towards him will go over time. Just keep moving with life. Find things or activities that make you feel good at – painting, dancing or gardening, even if you don’t have a green finger. The best thing is to surrender oneself to God, tawakkal, and pray to Him all the time. Insya Allah you would feel much better and look forward more to life.
A friend told me this when I was heart-broken: I remember the boy but I don’t remember the feeling. How true.