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Relationship and stepfamilies

November 9, 2007

 I just remember about a million-dollar question that my friend asked me the other day. She was asking whether or not she should go ahead marrying her partner of five years when she is a single mother with two growing children.

As I was too happy to hear the good news, I didn’t realised how silent she was until she asked me again if it’s all right. That really smacked my head and apologetically said silly me!

I thought and pondered for the next 15 minutes or so and after a black hole silence, I told her that as she was asking if it’s okay that mean she was still in doubt about her own decision. She wasn’t ready as yet to commit herself for marriage, let alone wanted to share her life with her kids and this man she have known for more than five years.

I know her partner. He is one patience man and knew all along on my friend’s failed marriage and her struggle to cope with her life as a single mother. Luckily she has a career and children otherwise, I wouldn’t know myself what would happen to her. She always told me that if not for her children….
Anyway, I advised her to pray and seek guidance from God on big decisions like that. I wouldn’t like her to regret that she had made the biggest decision in her life. I can’t afford to face that myself.

This is an interesting read from the BBC on stepfamilies. I hope my friend (and those with stepfamilies) will read it.

I agree that it would be difficult if a couple have children of their own from previous relationship. From my experience, as with those who were never married before or do not have children, the best tip for any relationship to work is to give and take AND to accept whatever flaws your partner have. You couldn’t change people but I believe you could mould them though this will take time, for some, a very long time.

Now read this interesting story on relationship which I got from an email:

A couple who have been married for some time decided that their relationship need to be refreshed. It’s not that they were bored with each other but because of the routine of their lives, the relationship has turn a bit boring.

They both agreed that night, they were to sleep separately and by the next night, they would both be telling each other on what each of them think of the other.

So pens and papers in hands, the couple spent the night thinking of the likes and dislikes.

When the time came, the wife asked the husband to go first. The husband took out his list and said one by one the thing he doesn’t like about his wife. After awhile, he noticed the wife had tears rolling down her cheeks and so he stopped. He asked if he should stop but the wife said, its okay as she would want to know what he think of her.

When it’s the wife’s turn, the wife just showed the husband a blank sheet of paper and said that she couldn’t think of anything bad about her husband because she believed that there reasons beyond his acts or words.

The husband hugged his wife and asked for her forgiveness. The wife did and added that she accept the husband as who he is.

The end.

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