While we are in the mood for babies’ posts, a report from The Guardian says that children are born with aggressive instincts which must be curbed – or they risk growing into violent adults. The report goes on saying that the latest research suggests that rather being learnt, aggression is the ‘default’ position among small children.
“The key to later behaviour is how well individuals learn to control their tempers as toddlers. Children’s ability to shake off violent tendencies is dependent on ‘both genetic and environmental factors’. Parents are to teach youngsters on how to socialise and communicate.”
The article reminds me of the Malay proverb, melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya or loosely translated as, to shape a bamboo is to start from its the shoots. See, our elders were genuis lots!
So where does that leave for the Bruneian moulds or calak Brunei? (In the spirit of MIB). Bruneians, especially the Malays, are brought up with courtesy and respect for the elders. It is rude to yell at elders and gestures like bending one’s body while passing through a group of elders or pointing with the thumb instead of the index finger are the Brunei norms.
There are children who throw tantrums anytime or anywhere they want to. As psychologists debate that this is just a phase some children go through in their young lives (I agree), mainly to seek attention from their parents, Muslims have ways to shape or mould the young ones, even for the not so young.
I learned that there is a zikir or a simple verse parents should recite nightly when their children are already in deep sleep. Calling for one of the names of Allah, Ya Latif which means The Subtle One – could help children to be gentle in their behaviour while their brains are in the sub-conscious stage.
[Al-Latif also means He who knows the delicate meanings of everything. He who creates things most subtly, which cannot be understood by people, and He who gives blessings to people in the most subtle ways.]
Subbahana Allah
